A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 2

  The young woman he was supposed to have eloped with was a simple girl from the countryside. No matter how society viewed the matter, Sophia was the one who was publicly humiliated. She was the one who was stuck with the consequences.

  But the true pain was not the embarrassment. Rather the true pain that she felt was the heartbreak of rejection. It was hardly the first time she had felt the rejection of a man she had cared for, but it was the most recent and it caused her a great deal of pain to know that she could not keep any man happy no matter how she might try.

  A small part of her had felt that she had loved the Earl. Whether or not that was true love, she could not say. After all, it was the only form of love she had ever known with a man. Well, that was not true. But it was what she had long tried to tell herself.

  But if this had been love, then love was something that she never desired to know again. She had been close enough to the sense of love to know that it was painful and existed only to wound one due to another.

  On more than one occasion Sophia had sat with Adrianna and her mother, listening to what was spoken about in society. Sophia had made every effort to avoid the gossip and rumors as they were told by others, but she still wished to know what was being said.

  It was easier when the truths were coming from them rather than from other ladies with whom she was less familiar.

  Her mother had sat with her the evening after everything had come out and explained what she had heard about the Earl, and the details she had learned. But they had been few as there was still little certainty of what had led him to such callous actions.

  In the weeks that followed her mother had managed to glean other pieces of information, although the majority of it was in reference only to the present.

  Primarily it all had to do with the Earl’s recent actions. He had shamed his family. He had abandoned his title for the sake of the young woman that no one knew anything about.

  It seemed as though no one was ever going to put the pieces together.

  Sophia had hoped in the very least that the Earl might write her a letter, explaining himself. But he had remained silent. He had not given even a moment’s thought to explain matters to her, and it was agonising for Sophia to know that he did not even care enough to speak with her about what had occurred.

  She would have to move on, alone, and try to understand what had been so terrible about her that he could not even find it within himself to communicate his abandonment. She would have to live with the heartbreak of his lack of affection for her.

  But the weeks continued to move forward and, finally, more of the story unfolded. Adrianna had come to spend time with Sophia, but she had warned her that more information had come to light and it might be difficult to hear.

  Sophia agreed to hear it anyway, thinking that any explanation was better than nothing at all. She needed to understand why this had all happened.

  Adrianna had made every effort to calm Sophia before she launched into the explanation that she had heard regarding what had happened with the Earl and why he had acted so terribly through all of this. But Sophia knew how evident her sadness was, and she allowed her friend to simply comfort her for a while before anything else.

  “I am so sorry that you have had to face this terrible pain,” Adrianna had said to her. It was nice having the companionship of her friend, but it did not make things right.

  “I know,” Sophia mumbled, unwilling to make more of an effort to speak. She closed her eyes as if this enabled her to will the world away and give her a semblance of solitude.

  She had spent a great deal of her time in the quiet of her room, and she was scarcely one for conversation in those days that had followed.

  Adrianna had not forced her to pretend to be upbeat or to try to be alright. She had simply sat with her and listened and taken care of her friend who was suffering these terrible pains and living with such a burden.

  “Can I call for anything to be brought to you? Would you like a bit of custard? I imagine Miss Honeycutt could have it brought for you. I know you are a fan of it,” Adrianna suggested.

  “I cannot eat right now,” Sophia replied, allowing herself to collapse on the bed. She had tried to maintain a proper posture, tried to greet her friend in the parlour as was expected, but nothing seemed to do her any good.

  She had preferred to simply remain upon the bed, resting and thinking and trying to forget the state of her affairs.

  “You mustn’t refrain from eating, Sophia. Please, it is not healthy for you,” Adrianna reminded her.

  “But it does not matter. I shall never find love again and I can hardly be expected to hope for it,” Sophia replied, forlornly.

  “So your life is meaningless? All because of the actions of a foolish Earl who has disgraced himself in society? Why must you suffer further punishment for the behaviours of another?” Adrianna asked.

  “Because if I had been enough for him, if I could have made him love me, none of this would have happened. Do not pretend otherwise. I know that everyone says it. Everyone thinks it. He ran away because I was not enough,” she reasoned.

  Adrianna let out a frustrated sigh.

  “You were not made a fool of, but you are playing the fool right now. I have listened to the gossip. I have heard what a liar he was. When people speak of you, they speak only of how you were betrayed. No one declares you to be at fault in any manner,” Adrianna assured her.

  “I can hardly imagine that to be true,” she said, unwilling to give even the slightest degree of acceptance to her friend who was making such an effort to better the situation for Sophia.

  “Good heavens, the Earl of Bastion had been in love with this other woman for years, Sophia!” she yelled.

  Sophia felt her heart break all over again. How she had believed this man’s lies, how she had not known that he would do this to her? It was shameful.

  Not once had it occurred to her that someone could be so cruel and so vile. Not once had she imagined that a man of such a calibre would treat her with such indignity.

  “He loved her for years?” Sophia asked.

  “According to those I have spoken with, he did. She was the daughter of some merchant that his father used to buy from often. And the two were childhood sweethearts who often ran off together in hopes of one day being married,” Adrianna said.

  “Then why did he not marry her long ago? Why did he have to allow me to spend all this time hoping that we might be married as he had promised we would?” Sophia asked, ignoring the fact that she knew well it had been her own emotions that had caused such a delay in the marriage.

  The fact of the matter was that she was long uncertain as to whether or not she wanted to marry him. She was only just prepared for it to happen. But it was still far easier to blame the Earl for the length of the wait than to accept it upon her own shoulders.

  So instead she would question why he did not simply make his decision sooner.

  “Because she was the daughter of a merchant, as I said. She was not of his station and he knew that his mother and father would never allow it. Even after his father passed away and he took on the title and was running the home, everyone knew that his mother has been the one to run his life,” Adrianna said.

  “Yes, she is quite an awful woman. I did not look forward to being under her thumb at all times,” Sophia sighed.

  “Well, now you shan’t be. She is, reportedly, quite furious,” she said.

  “And do I not have a right to be furious?” Sophia asked.

  “Certainly you do. And everyone expects you to be. But I have not seen fury from you. I have seen only sadness. I wish that you would be furious and rage and feel the way that you ought to feel. It might help you out of this depression that I have seen come over you,” Adrianna said.

  “But I cannot shake from my mind the thought that part of this is all my own fault. If I had been better, he would not have run off with another,” Sophia said again.

  “You must forget that train of thought. As I said, he did not simply run off. He loved her for a long time. He pursued you because he did care for you, I’m sure of it. He knew that he had an obligation to society that he must marry. He saw you as the best choice of all the women in noble society,” Adrianna said.

  Sophia knew that this was supposed to make her feel better. She knew that being the first pick of the Earl for an appropriate wife was a compliment. But she could not see it that way.

  “In the end, the Earl had to follow his heart and seek out his true love,” Adrianna added.

  “And I was not her,” Sophia concluded.

  Knowing that the Earl of Bastion had been in love with the young woman for several years made nothing better. In all the time that he had been amongst society, he had been longing to be with her again.

  His courtship with Sophia had been a mere obligation of society. He had not once truly desired her or loved her. He had been with her only for the purposes of what had been expected of him. But now that the courtship had ended, he was hiding nothing.

  Sophia was not the strong-willed woman that she desired to be. She knew that her emotions often got the better of her, but this did not change the fact that she simply could do nothing but sit around and be depressed.

  For a great deal of time, she had made every attempt to distract herself. Still, she was making such an effort. But it seemed hopeless. It seemed as though there was nothing at all in the world that might improve her mood or make her feel better.

  “Why don’t we go outside and get some air?” Adrianna suggested.

  “Are you trying to cheer me up?” Sophia asked.

  “Do you truly need to ask that question?” her friend laughed.

  Sophia looked at Adrianna and finally agreed to join her. They walked around outside for a while, taking in the beauty of the countryside and walking amongst the flowers. It was another attempt at distraction that Sophia understood, but did not care for.

  Everyone was constantly trying to take her mind off the matters that had occurred. But whether she thought about it indoors, inside her room, or here outside in the air, the pain remained present and rather unbearable.

  With each and every embroidery that she put together, she felt like a fool. There was no sense in wasting time with silly designs or pointless threads.

  As she practiced her piano skill, hopelessness would be heard through each and every note. The minor keys grew loathsome to her family. But there was not a happy tune she could play.

  On the days in which her mother would send her outside to draw, Sophia would find herself able to only remain out of doors for a short period of time. After taking in the air and sketching briefly, she would return inside and make her way to her room where she would remain in a forlorn mood.

  But the truly difficult days were the ones in which they would receive an invitation to this ball or that.

  Sophia was agonised at having to refuse so many opportunities to socialise. She enjoyed the company of others generally. But these days, the humiliation was too great.

  She simply was not secure enough, in herself or in the events that had occurred, to be present amongst so many people. She did not wish to be seen when she knew that gossip still surrounded her and that so many people were aware of her plight, her loss.

  When Adrianna would mention this ball or that, Sophia would tell her that she was not in the mood to attend.

  And with every invitation that she refused, the isolation grew worse.

  Chapter 3

  Relaxed in her room, trying to remain distracted, Sophia was surprised when a knock came at her door. She had not been expecting anyone, but perhaps she had dozed off again without realising it and was late for dinner.

  “Come in,” she called, sitting up from the bed.

  In walked Adrianna, with all of her pluck and spirit. With a grin on her face and strength in her step, she plopped herself on the bed and looked at Sophia.

  “My dear Sophia, you are still wallowing. Have we not spoken about this? It has been two months. I know that love cannot be so easily gotten over, but you simply must try and make an effort to move forward. You cannot live in this sadness forever,” Adrianna scolded.

  “Why ever not? How can it do any harm now?” Sophia asked.

  Adrianna looked at her with a sense of anger, a sort of disdain.

  “I simply no longer have the patience for this. I understand that you are upset. I would be as well. You have every right to be angry and sad and every other emotion that you are feeling, but I cannot possibly understand why you would refuse to move forward. Have you no desire to move on with your life?” she asked.

  “Of course I do. But I cannot do it yet. You must give me time,” Sophia defended. It was irritating how often her friend and her mother, and even Miss Honeycutt, had all constantly come to her, pushing for Sophia to overcome everything that had happened. It was as though they believed she ought to simply forget and move on.

  “I have given you more than enough time. And you had best listen to me. You do not need more time. What you need is to get yourself out of this bedroom. Not simply to craft doilies just to prove that you are able. Not to go for a walk that has no other purpose than to move your misery outside rather than remaining indoors,” Adrianna said.

  “Then for what purpose?” Sophia asked, as if it were hopeless.

  “For the purpose of being yourself again. Do you expect me to believe that this is the woman you ever wished to be? You must take control of your emotions,” she said.

  “But I’m told that I am an emotional person. And if I am, then how can I change it?” Sophia asked, throwing it in Adrianna’s face.

  “You become a strong person,” she retorted.

  Sophia had always wished she could be strong, but that was never something she felt capable of. That was Adrianna’s skill, not her own. Strength was for brave women and for men.

  Adrianna. Thomas. Her father. They were all strong. But she was not like them. She was defeated.

  She was defeated by the Earl of Bastion. She had been defeated by Thomas. She was simply a woman who was growing accustomed to the rejection of men and having to accept that she did not deserve the affections of any whom she cared for.

  “Do you wish to always live with such weakness?” Adrianna asked in a forceful way, making Sophia recognise the sadness of her own state.

  “Of course not-”

  “Then cease with your excuses. Move forward,” Adrianna declared.

  Sophia knew that her friend was right, but that did not mean that she was ready to leave the home.

  The seclusion had been the only comfort that she had felt in such a long time. Sophia did not believe that going out would do her any good, other than to bring her humiliation. If she went out and was seen by the other young women of society, she would feel the sadness of all that she had.

  She would know that they gossiped about her, sharing rumours as to why the Earl had left her. Young women in society were a cruel breed. There was no doubt of that. And Sophia had little desire to expose herself to their cruelty when she was still trying to recover from the ways she had been treated by the Earl.

  Oh, and if the young women were so cruel in their words, what were the men saying about her? All of those eligible bachelors, waiting, ready to find their own match. By now, surely they all knew that she was a mere castoff. Sophia was not worth their time.

  She had been rejected by a man far superior to any other and the next man would simply be a poor substitute. They would fear the wounding of their pride by being with a woman who reeked of failure in her past matches. They would not wish to associate with her in any manner.